She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
