i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
