I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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