I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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