NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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