Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
