Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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