god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize