ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
