Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
