STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
