I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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