their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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