You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
