Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize