I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
