I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
