maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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