It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
