I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
