on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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