Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
