Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
