what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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