everyone is single if you try hard enough
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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