My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
