You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
