so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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