tell your sister to shave her snatch
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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