This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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