i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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