So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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