Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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