did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
