After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I cannot find my penis.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
