I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
