Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
