Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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