chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
