Ambien. No doubt about it.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
