Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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