Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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