I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
