Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
