You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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