If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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