operation harelip BJ is a go
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
