We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
