I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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