Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
