I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
