I seem to have left my pride at pride
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I supernannyed him into submission
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
