If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize