how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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