He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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