Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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