Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
