plz talk dirty to me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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