You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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