what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
