I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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