After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
