she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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