Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
