suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
