I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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