I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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