So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
