i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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