This girl is more easily done than said...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
