It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize