Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
