I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
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