So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
