No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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