would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm bleeding and have questions
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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