sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
