and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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