so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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