i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
