so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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