I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize