I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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