My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
