He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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