so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
