omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize