I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
