So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize