Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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