Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
