Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
