I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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