The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I didn't notice because vodka
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
