He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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